Irish Smiles

----- Original Message -----
From: Howard Mahoney
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Sent: Monday, May 08, 2006 3:09 PM
Subject: Irish smiles

Irish Smiles

Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty
years, but he will kill any man who does.
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Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks
he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
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The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often
among themselves is that they're always assured of having a worthy opponent.
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An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an
Irishman a question, he answers with another question?"
"Who told you that?" asked Paddy.
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Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple?
Answer - So the English can understand them.
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Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and
announced, "Not guilty."
"That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"
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Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?"
Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room."
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Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?
A. A bachelor.
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Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in
the morning. I can't break her of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home ..
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Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. "Quick!" He said. "Send
an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!"
"Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked.
"No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'."
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"O'Ryan," asked the druggist, "did that mudpack I gave you improve your
wife's appearance?"
"It did surely," replied O'Ryan, "but it keeps fallin' off!"
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